- --Blondes Year in Review
- January- Took scarf back to store because it was too tight!!
- February- Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.. "duh" bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!!
- March- Got excited....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said 2-4 years.
- April- Trapped on escalator for hours.... power went out!!!!
- May- Tried to make Kool- Aid.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.....
- June- Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope!!!!
- July- Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!!!
- August- Got locked out of car in rainstorm, car got swamped, because the top was down!!!!
- September- The capital of California is "C"-- isn't it?????
- October- Hate M&Ms ... they are too hard to peel!!!!
- November- Baked turkey for 4-1/2 days... instructions said 1 pound per hour, and I weigh 108!!!
- December- Couldn't call 911..."duh" there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
- WHAT A YEAR!!!!!!!!
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament trip.
The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top-level.
The Brunette team down below is really whooping it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn’t heard anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
The brunette asked, “What's going on up here? We’re having a great time downstairs!”
One of the Blondes looks up at her, swallows hard and whispers…
“YEAH, BUT YOU’VE GOT THE DRIVER!”
The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top-level.
The Brunette team down below is really whooping it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn’t heard anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
The brunette asked, “What's going on up here? We’re having a great time downstairs!”
One of the Blondes looks up at her, swallows hard and whispers…
“YEAH, BUT YOU’VE GOT THE DRIVER!”
A blonde is speeding down a freeway when she is stopped by a highway patrol officer.
The officer asks if he can see her driver's license.
The blonde replies angrily, "I wish you guys would make up your minds!
Just yesterday one of you took away my license, and now today you expect me to show it to you!"
The officer asks if he can see her driver's license.
The blonde replies angrily, "I wish you guys would make up your minds!
Just yesterday one of you took away my license, and now today you expect me to show it to you!"
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The Doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering up the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which, that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag, cut a hole in it to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked the blond to then read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting Glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which, that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag, cut a hole in it to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked the blond to then read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting Glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
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