History jokes

Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights!


Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!


Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: By Norse code!


Q: Who invented fractions?
A: Henry the 1/4th!


Q: What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
A: Floodlights!


Q: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
A: I don't know, I wasn't invited!


Q: What's purple and 5000 miles long?
A: The grape wall of China.


Q: What did Mason say to Dixon?
A: We've got to draw the line here!


Q: Who made King Arthur's round table?
A: Sir-Cumference


Q: Who built the ark?
A: I have Noah idea!


Q: Why aren't you doing well in history?
A: Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened before I was born!


Q: What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
A: Toga-ether we can rule the world!


Q: Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood. He had to walk 8 miles to school every day!
A: Well, he should have gotten up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!


Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom!


Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
A: The same middle name!


Q: What is the fruitiest subject at school?
A: History, because it's full of dates!


Q: Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
A: Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!


Q: When a knight was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
A: Rust in peace!


Q: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
A: With a pair of Caesars!