"WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?"
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
• Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own but they like other people's.
• A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!
• Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.
• Grandparents are so old they shouldn't play hard or run but it is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
• Grandparents take us for walks and they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillers.
• Grandparents show us things and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on the sidewalk "cracks."
• Grandparents don't say, "Hurry up."
• Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
• Grandparents wear glasses and they can take their teeth and gums out.
• Grandparents always have time to answer our questions and they always know all the right answers to everything because they have lived a long time.
• When grandparents read to us, they don't skip and they don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.
• Grandparents know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
• Everybody should try to have grandparents, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.
________________________________________
"No Shoving"
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again.
As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But!--please don't shove me either!"
________________________________________
Black & White?"
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." said the mother.
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So then, why is the groom wearing black?"
________________________________________
"Left-Handed?"
Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten.
His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked, "doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"
Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and He did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"
"Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!
________________________________________
"The Flight to Egypt"
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot." said Kyle.
________________________________________
"White Hair"
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and asked, Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this for a while and then asked, "Momma, how comeALLof Grandma's hairs are white?"
________________________________________
"A New Twist to an Old Tale"
My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night.
Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad libs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his first- grade class. The teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
She said, "And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and asked, 'Pardon me, sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"
Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
My friend's son, remembering his dad's humorous rendition of the story, raised his hand and said, "I know! I know!
The man said: 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'"
________________________________________
"My Country"
The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several national flags.
She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?"
A little girl called out, "That's the flag of our country."
"Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name of our country?"
"'Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.
________________________________________
"In Sympathy"
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you are stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up.
The teacher was surprised, but realized this was an opportune moment to help a child.
"Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" she asked.
"No, ma'am," Johnny replied, "but I hated to see you standing there all by yourself!"
- As told by Owner-LaughALot@ListFarm.com
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
• Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own but they like other people's.
• A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!
• Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.
• Grandparents are so old they shouldn't play hard or run but it is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
• Grandparents take us for walks and they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillers.
• Grandparents show us things and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on the sidewalk "cracks."
• Grandparents don't say, "Hurry up."
• Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
• Grandparents wear glasses and they can take their teeth and gums out.
• Grandparents always have time to answer our questions and they always know all the right answers to everything because they have lived a long time.
• When grandparents read to us, they don't skip and they don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.
• Grandparents know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
• Everybody should try to have grandparents, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.
________________________________________
"No Shoving"
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again.
As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But!--please don't shove me either!"
________________________________________
Black & White?"
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." said the mother.
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So then, why is the groom wearing black?"
________________________________________
"Left-Handed?"
Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten.
His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked, "doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"
Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and He did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"
"Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!
________________________________________
"The Flight to Egypt"
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot." said Kyle.
________________________________________
"White Hair"
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and asked, Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this for a while and then asked, "Momma, how comeALLof Grandma's hairs are white?"
________________________________________
"A New Twist to an Old Tale"
My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night.
Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad libs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his first- grade class. The teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
She said, "And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and asked, 'Pardon me, sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"
Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
My friend's son, remembering his dad's humorous rendition of the story, raised his hand and said, "I know! I know!
The man said: 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'"
________________________________________
"My Country"
The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several national flags.
She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?"
A little girl called out, "That's the flag of our country."
"Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name of our country?"
"'Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.
________________________________________
"In Sympathy"
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you are stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up.
The teacher was surprised, but realized this was an opportune moment to help a child.
"Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" she asked.
"No, ma'am," Johnny replied, "but I hated to see you standing there all by yourself!"
- As told by Owner-LaughALot@ListFarm.com
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