A BLONDE TRIP
Two blondes were taking a trip to visit Disneyland.
On the way they saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left"
They both started to cry.
Two blondes were taking a trip to visit Disneyland.
On the way they saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left"
They both started to cry.
A BLONDE'S RETORT
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' GO SEAHAWKS! '
And they say blondes are dumb....???
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' GO SEAHAWKS! '
And they say blondes are dumb....???
The Magic Mirror
Someone gave a blonde a magic mirror and told her that if anyone walked up to it and told a lie it would suck them in.
So one day the blonde was telling her co-workers about the mirror.
A brunette co-worker walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead heard about the mirror, so she walked up to it and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The blonde stood wondering about all of this...then she walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
Someone gave a blonde a magic mirror and told her that if anyone walked up to it and told a lie it would suck them in.
So one day the blonde was telling her co-workers about the mirror.
A brunette co-worker walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead heard about the mirror, so she walked up to it and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The blonde stood wondering about all of this...then she walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
BLONDE'S WEEKLY COOKBOOK DIARY
MONDAY:
It's fun to cook for Tom.
Today I made angel food cake.
The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.
The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
Today I made angel food cake.
The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.
The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY:
Tom wanted a fruit salad for supper.
The recipe said serve without dressing.
That seemed strange to me but I figured I should follow the directions.
What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper and I was still in my robe and nightgown.
The recipe said serve without dressing.
That seemed strange to me but I figured I should follow the directions.
What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper and I was still in my robe and nightgown.
WEDNESDAY:
A good day for rice.
The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice.
It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway.
I can't say it improved the rice any though.
The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice.
It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway.
I can't say it improved the rice any though.
THURSDAY:
Today Tom asked for salad again.
I tried a new recipe.
It said prepare ingredients, and lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.
When Tom came home he asked me why there was lettace all over our bed.
I tried a new recipe.
It said prepare ingredients, and lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.
When Tom came home he asked me why there was lettace all over our bed.
FRIDAY:
I found an easy recipe for cookies.
It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it.
There must have been something wrong with this recipe because when I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it.
There must have been something wrong with this recipe because when I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
SATURDAY:
Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken.
He asked me to dress it for Sunday. Gee, I sure had a hard time finding any clothes to fit it.
For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.
He asked me to dress it for Sunday. Gee, I sure had a hard time finding any clothes to fit it.
For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.
SUNDAY:
Tom's folks came to dinner.
I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger.
Suddenly I had a flash of genius.!
I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast.
But, it still came out as hamburger much to my disappointment.
I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger.
Suddenly I had a flash of genius.!
I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast.
But, it still came out as hamburger much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY.
This has been a very exciting week.
I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom.
That is, if I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven because I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose.
I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom.
That is, if I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven because I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose.
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