Book jokes and humour

TEACHER: Who is your favorite author?

PUPIL: George Washington.

TEACHER: But George Washington never wrote any books.

PUPIL: You got it.

LIBRARIAN: Why don't you take home a Dr. Seuss?

PUPIL: I didn't know he made house calls.

TEACHER: How many books did you finish over the summer?

PUPIL: None. My brother stole my box of crayons.

TEACHER: How many books have you read in your lifetime?

PUPIL: I don't know. I'm not dead yet.

TEACHER: What did you learn from your history book about Harriet Beecher Stowe?

PUPIL: If you draw a beard and a stovepipe hat on her, she looks exactly like Abraham Lincoln.

TEACHER: What does your history book tell you about the Civil War?

PUPIL: It doesn't tell me anything. I have to read the dumb thing.

My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.

I couldn't find the words to thank him.

If you don't know what the word "dictionary" means,

Where  would you look it up?

TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?

PUPIL: You told me to open it up to the Middle East.

TEACHER: Where is South America?

PUPIL: I don't know.

TEACHER: Where is Greenland?

PUPIL: I don't know.

TEACHER: Where is Bulgaria?

PUPIL: I don't know.

TEACHER: Look them up in your textbook.

PUPIL: I don't know where that is, either.

Our school librarian is very strict.

She'll send you to the principal's office for thinking too loudly.

Our school library is so quiet, when I'm sitting in there,

I can hear my hair grow

PUPIL: Do you have Moby Dick?

LIBRARIAN: Yes, we do.

PUPIL: I thought something smelled fishy in here.

LIBRARIAN: Did you enjoy reading Moby Dick?

PUPIL: I couldn't finish it. I got seasick.

PUPIL: Do you have Oliver Twist in hard cover?

LIBRARIAN: Yes, we do.

PUPIL: Well, let him out; he's a friend of mine.

TEACHER: Tell the class what book you read.

PUPIL: Black Beauty.

TEACHER: And tell the class what it was about.

PUPIL: It was about 120 pages.

LIBRARIAN: Did you enjoy reading The Hunchback of Notre Dame?

PUPIL: Well, I read the first 100 pages, then I found out it wasn't about football.

Our school library is so quiet you can hear a pin drop and if it does;

the pin will be sent to the principal's office.

TEACHER: Tell the class what book you read and what you thought of it.

PUPIL: I read the phone book, but I didn't understand it. It had too many characters.

TEACHER: Tell the class what book you read and then tell them something about the plot.

PUPIL: I read "The Life of Thomas Jefferson." He dies at the end.